


Broken Pieces

by Radleyshastings



Category: Pretty little liars and Spencer Hastings
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-10-28 18:27:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17792486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radleyshastings/pseuds/Radleyshastings
Summary: The girls had just returned from the dollhouse a few weeks ago, all getting back to their normal lives, except Spencer, after a panic attack and then being pushed out of a window Spencer goes through hell all over again this time alone and dangerously





	1. Chapter 1

It had already been over a month since the girls escaped from the dollhouse. They’d all gone back to their normal lives... that is except Spencer. Aria was taking photos, Emily started swimming again and Hanna shopping, she was even about to steal something but then someone caught her about to leave and she had to play dumb, but Spencer, she tried her hardest she went back to school just like the other girls but already being the thinnest and thinner then Normal and with more physical injuries, all being surface wounds, then the rest made her look almost ill. Everyday people stared ,not just at her, the others too but eventually people stopped looking at them as they got better but Spencer just wasn’t improving; and people didn’t stop staring. She had so much anxiety and stress, stress from school and home and even her friends, although she figured out how to escape and who was torturing them she was petrified her best friends, family, her only support would abandon her, realizing how badly she took control in the dollhouse because she wanted to save them, and she’d be left alone.

After not even a full week she stopped going to school, she told everyone she was tired, which wasn’t completely a lie, she was exhausted, but she just couldn’t stand it anymore after having a panic attack in the girls washroom then outside and Aria, her actual other half, walking in on it unsure of what to do as Spencer paced around the room, crying,sobbing, panting, freaking out. Aria called her name un able to get her attention “Spencer! Spence what’s wrong!” She half yelled. After a few minutes she sprinted back to the math classroom getting Emily who shared a class with her and Spencer, Emily heard someone coming down the hall and as soon as she saw aria at the door with a panicked face she was out of the door before anyone could comprehend what just happened between the two girls. They both scuttled side by side to Hanna’s class to get her, Emily didn’t even ask what was happening for all she knew Spencer ran out of class with Aria right behind her. They grabbed Hanna and sprinted to the washroom where Aria assured them Spencer was. As soon as they got their Em shouted Spencer’s name, without a response they looked at each other confused. “Spencer!” Aria called confused where the panicking un responsive girl went. How far could she have gone it was only like 2 minutes , if that, she’d been gone. “Aria your hallucinating” Said the slightly darker friend. “No I’m not! I know what I saw, she was freaking out, it was so un Spencer like, not like her normal panic attack, it was as if she thought toby was dead all over again but a bit different, worse, scarier to see” Aria snapped back, still looking in the very tiny washroom for her other half. Then they heard a scream, Spencer’s scream coming from outside.

As Spencer ran out of school into the empty courtyard, running out of oxygen, she saw something, no she felt something, something from the dollhouse and she thought it was real. She screamed thinking she was back in the bunker waking up with blood all over her hands tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t get out, she couldn’t stop thinking, it was happening all over again. She felt hands on her but couldn’t see them, what were they, who’s were they, she was walking, asking what they made her do to the camera in the corner, how could someone be holding her down? That’s when she realized those hands were the hands of her concerned friends, holding her down. The world was spinning, bouncing for a minute straight before Spencer realized it wasn’t the world shaking, the screams weren’t coming from her head, she was shaking, no she was thrashing on the ground, screaming, with her three best friends holding her down as if she was a mental patient going insane. “Spencer” The three screamed in unison tears streaming down Aria’s face. As Spencer’s out loud screams and cries calmed down. Emily pulled the terrified girl off the ground and into their arms. Tears streaming down all their faces, Spencer’s the hardest. They were all confused, petrified, what was happening to the person who kept them together, kept them strong. She was breaking one tear at a time. “Spencer what’s wrong?” “What happened?” “Spencer answer us!” But she couldn’t, she tried, but her mouth wouldn’t say the words, instead awful panting noises came out as she finally let go of a breath she didn’t recall holding. The girls realized it too, she couldn’t speak, it’s not that she didn’t want to, she just couldn’t. They were glad that their was an assembly about to start so no one would find out. “Spencer let us bring you home” Hanna said as soothingly as possible. As Aria and Emily stopped their tears for they’d be able to stop their friends, Hanna retrieved the phone Spencer threw across the grass when she was panicking. Salt water still running down Spencer’s face, she faintly nodded and let them help her to Arias car. As soon as they were in the car, Spencer let her cries grow louder, grasping onto Aria who helped her to the car. She tried to stop her cries , stop pulling on her caring friend, stop freaking out, stop the voices in her head but she couldn’t. Emily jumped into the drivers seat before Hanna could and quickly pulled out of Rosewood High’s parking lot.

Half way to Spencer’s house, her cries much quieter and controlled, she croaked out an apology. “God Spencer you have nothing to apologize for.” Said the girl who’s Spencer’s grip loosened up on. “I do though I ran when you left because I was scared, I didn’t know what to do! I was panicking so I left, leaving you guys worried. Which was wrong of me but I-I” She stuttered. She was speaking so fast that even Hanna could tell she was scared and still panicking. “Spence, calm down.” Hanna said, looking behind at the backseat where Aria and Spencer still sat clenched to each other. “ It was almost like a reverse sweven” “A what?” Hanna asked in an almost displeasing tone. “A sweven is a vision in a dream basically a déjà vu, just she re “lived” it instead of preliving it.” Emily stated, proud she was the one who was correcting Hanna but then felt a pang of guilt as she took a glance back at the usually perky, brilliant girl who was now vibrating and silent with salt water running down her own face and crawled up in Arias arms as if Aria was her mother and not wanting to let go. “Spencer what really happened?” Asked Aria who without knowing it was actually holding on to Spencer harder than Spencer was holding on to her. But Spencer didn’t respond her cries were now just silent tears and she was shivering now slightly letting loose of her and Arias mini huddle. “Spencer” “Spencer” They all asked, when she didn’t answer in words, but just a glare, they dropped the subject and asked her if she wanted anyone to stay with her. She didn’t answer because all she wanted was Aria or Toby. But Toby was working so she chose Aria but she couldn’t tell them that, she was afraid of hurting someone’s feelings even her own so she waited to tell her. She eventually said “Sure but go back when the assembly’s finishing” “Sure”

When the girls got to Spencer’s place 8 minutes after leaving the high school. Aria helped Spencer out of the car, but when she nearly blacked out and Aria being much shorter than Spencer couldn’t help her so she switched spots with Emily who was about the same height and Emily helped her inside to the couch. Luckily her parents were both out of town and Mellisa was at her apartment in philly working so they wouldn’t have to explain anything. Aria rushed inside getting Spencer some water before even Hanna who was walking at normal speed maybe faster was even in the house. “Aria stop, stop worrying ok?” Spencer said when she was safe on the couch. “I’m sorry I’m just worried, that’s never happened before-“ “I know and I don’t know why it happened either” Spencer interrupted with a defensive tone as she stood unsteadily to get aspirin for her already pounding headache. She already had a concussion as when they all had been individually tortured she was physically tortured unlike the other girls. So thrashing her head on the ground didn’t help. When she sat back down, aspirin in one hand and the water Aria got her in the other hand, the girls asked her one final time what happened. “ I don’t know” Spencer answered. “Ok Spencer cut the crap just tell us k?” Hanna said clearly pissed now. “Hanna!” Emily hissed, turning back to Spencer “It’s ok Spence tell us when you’re ready, we’ll always be ready to listen, although right now’s probably the best time.” “Listen guys I wish I could tell you but I can’t.” “Spencer just tell us you know you can!” Hanna basically yelled making Spencer’s headache worse and Hanna could tell too so she quickly sat back down and quietly apologized. “Again I wish I could tell you, I need to tell someone but I don’t remember what really happened I remember opening the doors to go outside and then somehow I was in Emily’s arms” Spencer said raising her voice as much as she could for they could hear her and the tone she was using, as she wanted them to know, especially Hanna, that she was telling the truth. “Spencer we’re sorry ok we didn’t know” Aria remarked, feeling the part of where Spence took place in her heart crack a bit. It pained her to see her best friend since day 1 of middle school falling apart. She knew she was having a hard time with her memory and focusing and just in general but she didn’t think it was so bad she’d freak out. She thought back to the time Spencer went to Radley, she had separated her self so much from the other girls that she could t handle it and when she found toby “dead” she completely lost it. Aria felt a heavy weight lift off her chest knowing Spencer wasn’t going to separate herself from them again and she wouldn’t end up there, at least not for the same reason as last time. Some time later when they knew Spencer was safe and okay Emily announced they better get back to school for the last two periods. Spencer sadly agreed looking out her bedroom window across to what used to be her cousins-best friends old bedroom window. After they and the police; Toby, found out Ali had been faking her kidnapping they made her pay a fine and her father made them move away, sometimes they talked on the phone keeping in touch, as they were cousins and close friends. “Spencer were going to leave now ok?” Said Emily, noticing Spencer was listening but obviously focused on something else. “Please call us if you need anything, or actually I’m going to call you when we’re on the road okay?” Asked Aria in more of a statement then a question. “We’ll lock the door for you” Hanna said wanting to somehow help her friend. “Thank you so much guys, and I’m still sorry, for everything.” “We love you” “I love you guys too” Spencer stated back with a smile of relief.

Aria was already typing Spencer’s number as she opened the drivers side door to her car. As aria was ringing Spencer, Emily was already calling toby hoping he would answer even though he was one of the top cops in the dollhouse investigation so he’s probably too busy. “Hi” said Spencer on the third ring. “Hey we’re just about to leave, I’m going to put you on speaker mode?” “Wait before you do that do you think you could come back in last period since you don’t share with Hanna or Emily so they wouldn’t know?” “Sure” She said uneasily, worried why Spencer only wanted her. Aria put her on speaker mode and the girls started talking. “What was that assembly even about?” Hanna asked. “Some health thing and blood donation but me and Spencer aren’t aloud to do it and they don’t really want you and Aria to do it so what’s the point in being there?” Responded Emily. “True” “Hey guys did you see anyone else when you we’re leaving the house?” Spencer asked with a worried tone in her voice. “No I don’t think so why? We’re only like 2 minutes away we can come back if you-“ Aria started saying with an uneasy, worried tone matching Spencer’s. “No, no it’s okay I just thought I heard something but it’s alright I’m probably just hallucinating!” “Are you sure because we could come back?” Asked Emily secretly wanting to come back to take care of her friend. “No seriously go it’s alright! I don’t even hear anything anymore!” Spencer said trying to put her usual cheery and boss voice into her answer. They kept talking and the girls were still only 5 minutes away just in case Spencer asked for them to come back, they’d be there quickly. Spencer noticed to they should’ve been in class by now, instead of in the washroom or courtyard or something, but she didn’t realize they were still in the car, because her now migraine was making her off focused and dizzy. She was stating that they should be in class right now when she screamed. It wasn’t like one of her panic screams it was a real scream, a scream from being hurt right now.


	2. Chapter 2

“Spencer!” Aria yelled, probably loud enough that Spencer could hear from her house.   
“Guys plz helppp” she screamed. “Stop plz your hurting me, plz plz, stop”   
The girls realized they were similar to her screams from the dollhouse when they were all out of their room but Spencer who was still being tortured.   
“Spencer what’s wrong?” Hanna asked, tears almost running down her face in fear of what could be happening.   
“Your going to kill me stop-“ Spencer was halfway through her plead, when the window smashed bringing Spencer down with it luckily though she got grip with the windowsill and -A ran off.   
“Spencer are you alright?” Emily asked her in fear of her not answering.   
“Plz guys help me I’m going to fall!”   
They were so freaked out they couldn’t even digest that what she said meant she was hanging from her third floor bedroom window slipping onto the balcony 12 feet below her. Aria pressed on the gas getting them to her house in less than three minutes, sprinting up the stairs they heard Spencer screaming in pain and fear. As soon as they got to Spencer’s room they saw her fingers slipping and eventually couldn’t see them at all.   
“Spencer” they yelled as the backbone of their group fell to the deck 12 feet lower smacking her head hard against the wooden deck floor.

 

Hanna and Emily stood their looking down shocked at what they automatically assumed was their clearly unconscious friend dying. Aria though as soon as she couldn’t see Spencer’s fingers, had sprinted down to the balcony, nearly beating the girl who was falling.  
“Emily, Hanna!” Aria shouted through tears as she lied beside her unconscious friends body. Emily and Hanna were down in no more than 10 seconds as well through gritted teeth yelling Spencer’s name. There was glass and quite a bit of blood everywhere from the glass cutting her head, back and hands, and from hitting the ground so hard. She also had a large dark bruise on the side of her face and her hip from hitting the ground so hard. All three of Spencer’s conscious friends sat there unable to think about anything except for blaming themselves, and they each had a reason to blame theirselves. Finally Emily being a fields snapped back into reality, ready to help. She checked to see if Spencer was still breathing, which caught Arias attention back to Spencer and to their luck she was. Hanna instantly called an ambulance not even thinking about the bad that would come out of explaining what happened when they didn’t know and they doubted Spencer would understand what had just happened. Within minutes an ambulance was at the hastings big gorgeous house, with a stretcher ready to take the still unconscious young body. Hanna ran down stairs to meet the paramedics and lead them to Spencer. As soon as they were at the balcony they pushed the girls out of the way, and had Spencer on the stretcher in less than 15 seconds. When they were all brought to the hospital after escaping and being rescued by their bed buddies it was obvious Spencer had been physically tortured and still had struggles breathing, and to her luck these were the paramedics who had treated Spencer so they knew instantly about her breathing problems- which the girls had no idea about.   
“Make sure she’s still breathing properly” yelled one of the paramedics.   
“She is we already checked!” Emily yelled. “Just help her become conscious, her breathings fine we checked her pulse!” Emily demanded.   
“Ma’am we understand you’re worried but when you guys were examined it was obvious she’d been physically tortured and had gained troubles with her breathing”   
“Oh” Emily said back quietly, sad she hadn’t known sooner and she had to find out this way.   
“She’s breathing!” Said the paremedic, lifting a huge weight off the girls shoulders. As soon as they had her in the ambulance, the girls quickly decided to put Aria in the ambulance with her and Emily and Hanna would follow behind in arias car. The cops met them at the hospital for investigation of what happened. As the doctors and nurses in the emergency room were helping Spencer, Hanna explained to tanner what they knew from their phone call, Emily was talking to toby making sure he didn’t flip at the nurses and aria walked back and forth in front of Spencer’s hospital room.   
“Nurse you need to let us see her!” Toby yelled at the first nurse he saw come out of Spencer’s room.   
“Not yet they just got her stable she’s still unconscious and should be awake in the next 10 minutes.” The young nurse responded calmly.   
Toby felt better after she said that but was still scared, he wasn’t really here to check on her he was here on duty but he couldn’t stand asking his girlfriend what had happened as he was afraid of the answers. So 5 minutes later when Spencer wasn’t quite awake he told tanner he couldn’t be apart of this part of the investigation, he got the rest of the day off, which made him a visitor now. Now that he was a visitor and Spencer was alright he and Aria were aloud in the room.   
Spencer woke up a few short minutes later to a pounding migraine and a bit confused.   
“Aria? Toby?” She said in pain.   
“Spence!”   
“Babe!”   
The two cheerfully said as their best friend sat up painfully.   
“How’s your head?” Emily asked as she walked into the room knowing she was awake now from the cheers that came from aria and Toby.   
“I have a terrible headache and honestly I’m sorta confused why I’m here...... and the cops.” She said turning to face one of rosewoods policewoman.   
“Spencer I see your awake! How do you feel?” Asked Paige her nurse.   
“Fine, can i leave?”   
“Spencer you just woke up!” Aria said with a confused tone.   
“We may have to keep you overnight to do further examining.” Replied the young nurse with a still cheery tone to her voice. “Girls, Toby, I’m going to have to ask you to leave for a few minutes.”   
“Why can’t they stay here?” Spencer groaned, pissed and in pain.   
“It’s the law now guys please go!” Mellisa said again pointing to the door.   
As they left Mellisa explained they had to check her heart and brain, to check for no further injuries. Halfway through the heart monitor Spencer asked why she was here and why she couldn’t really remember anything. “Well Spencer after you guys were examined after you guys escaped being held captive you had a minor concussion and some memory and breathing issues and then about one hour ago your friends were leaving your place and you were on the phone and someone was attacking you, eventually pushing you out the window, but you were able to grab and hold on to the windowsill for a couple minutes but when you slipped you fell on your balcony hit your head and went unconscious.” She calmly replied.   
“Oh.” Spencer said.   
“So for a few weeks maybe longer maybe forever your going to have troubles remembering you’ll know something happened, remember something happened, but you won’t be able to say exactly how it went, you won’t remember what people said to you, and you may forget some things like homework, a plan to see someone or to go to an event or sport.”   
“Ok and you said it could go away in the next month or so right?”   
“Right! Or it may take longer or it will never go away just get better,” The nurse said putting away all the equipment from the exam. “ So your breathing is a little bit under normal but that’s alright and your brain is still ok!”   
“Great! Can I get my friends now?”   
“I’ll tell them to head in when I leave ok?”   
“Okay, thank you!” 

“Spencer what did she say was there anything wrong?” Aria said glad to see her friend after 15 minutes of examination.   
“I have nothing wrong with my brain, my breathings a bit abnormal, but I have a memory loss thing, it may last for about a month or so, longer, or for the rest of my life, I will be able to remember something happened just won’t be able to remember how or why, just like before from my head injuries from the dollhouse but now I will also forget what people said in conversations when I try to remember them and I’ll forget about things like events, sports, hangout plans, or even doing homework or cooking dinner.”   
“Oh Spence I’m sorry that’s terrible! I knew we should have never left you alone!”   
“No Aria it’s fine, it’s not your fault,” Spencer said trying to sound positive. “Where’s Toby,Hanna and Emily?”   
“ I don’t know where toby went but Emily had to head home and Hanna’s still talking to the cops, they want to talk to you,me and Emily aswell.”   
“Ya I know, listen I’m really sorry about what happened.”   
“You don’t need to apologize, we should’ve tried to help you sooner-“   
“Hey stop I know I had told you not to worry but if you hadn’t I wouldn’t be alive right now in fact I’d still be laying on the ground until you came back.” Spencer said.   
“I’ll be right back okay?” Aria said rubbing Spencer’s shoulders. As Aria was heading out the door Spencer laid back and sighed.   
“Hello Spencer! How are you?” Asked intendant Tanner with her usual fake cheery voice.   
“Fine.” Spencer said trying not to sound rude or without sighing.   
“That’s good, now we would like to ask some questions about what happened, is that alright?”  
“You can try.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so sorry about not posting for so long, but at least I am posting and alive! Besides the beginning this chapter doesn’t have too much dialogue, so hope you like it :) make sure to comment your opinions too!

“Ok, first question how long do you recall fighting with this person for before he or she pushed you through the window?”   
“I’m not sure 30 seconds maybe I don’t remember.” Spencer said as Toby came back in the room.   
“Oh, hello Toby you got here just in time! Could you please go get Aria so we could get her and Spencer’s phone call on tape?” Tanner asked with a demanding tone and her usual fake cheery smile spread across her face.   
“I guess but, remember I’m not really working right now.” Toby replied.  
“Yes I know but your not aloud to be in here during questioning so give yourself something to do, and when you find Aria give the phone to Gabe.”   
“Sure.”   
“Ok Spencer shall we get back to our questions?” Tanner said as Toby was heading out the door.   
“Sure.”   
“Ok so, you said you couldn’t remember how long you’d been fighting for with this person but do you know who it was?”   
“No they were wearing a hoodie, but I’m pretty sure it was a girl.” Spencer replied as Lorenzo quietly wrote down her answer, he waited a few minutes until the next question making side comments to Tanner, making Spencer intimidated . 

Page 24,   
Don’t let suspect/victim know what your thinking or writing and always wait 10-15 seconds after victim has finished speaking to write your notes; may cause more suspicion or intimidation if you quickly write it down rather than making it look like they aren’t proving anything. 

Spencer remembered reading that, when Toby came to her place late at night and studied his police academy work as Spencer worked on her own school homework. She’d never been so glad she was such a hands on girlfriend. Toby never understood why she enjoyed reading his books, and in all honesty neither did she until now. But now that she knew Lorenzo was only taking his time to make her less intimidated only made her more suspicious, curious, frustrated and intimidated. But now she also knew what to expect and how to handle the questions like the Hastings she is and always has been. A familiar voice had took her out of her thoughts.  
“Here’s Spencer and Arias phone.” Toby said walking into the tiny brunettes hospital room prepared to stay for the rest of the interview.  
“Perfect thanks.” Lorenzo thanked, as Toby quickly turned around to give his girlfriend a hug and sit down on the chair next to her.   
“Hey Tobes!” Spencer said with an adorable child-like voice.  
“Hey babe!” Toby said back chuckling and imitating her child voice.  
“Toby I’m sorry I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Tanner said ruining the couples elated moment.   
“No, he can stay here!” Spencer said as kindly as she could.   
“Spence-“ Toby started but was quickly silenced by the brunettes watering eyes. It was clear she was stressing out, Spencer hated cops, although she loved being questioned and being the only one to know the answers, the rosewood police, aside from Toby and sort of Lorenzo, always gave her an uneasy feeling, sending chills down her spine. The police in this town were dumber than a sloth, for instance, they weren’t able to find 5 teenage girls who’d been kidnapped for a month, in fact Spencer was the one who got them out. They also haven’t figured out a murder from about 4 years ago. They weren’t able to figure out that Ian Thomas attempted murder on Spencer. They couldn’t even figure out who tried to drown Jenna. Not even able to figure out whether someone did what everyone suspected or if Jenna really had just fallen in. But worst of all they couldn’t figure out that the boy sitting next to her was in fact not only innocent of rape but the real victim.   
“Spencer.” Toby said multiple times before pulling Spencer out of her thoughts. He slipped his hand under the bed covers to trace circles around her thigh, in an attempt to calm her down. The older woman quickly realized that this interview was only going to stay sane and actually happen if the young boy stayed in the room.   
“Spencer are you ready to get back to questions?”   
“I guess.” Spencer half sighed knowing now that all three-four if you count Aria who only Spencer has seen standing in the dark at the door for no one to see- had clearly seen her face during her trace of thoughts, now knowing she was on the cusp of being depressed going insane for almost the fourth time in her life.   
“So then, would you like to tell me why you guys were even at your place instead of at your school assembly?” Tanner asked almost enjoying the way she stressed out the young mentally ill girl.   
“What assembly?”   
“Blood donation.” Toby answered before Tanner could, he said quietly enough that only Spencer could make out what he said but loud enough that anyone else could tell he had answered the question.   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?!”   
“Well than how about we talk about why you were at home?” Tanner said impatience rising in her voice.   
“I don’t know!” Spencer said getting stressed out but also pissed.   
A few more dumb and irrelevant questions later Spencer was officially crying and Aria was on her last nerve and ready to burst in the room.   
“Spencer please we need to know these answers or we can’t help you.” Lorenzo said soothing her a bit. But she was still crying and stressed.   
“Ok I’m ending this, you guys shouldn’t even be in here, questioning her like she did something wrong, in fact you shouldn’t be questioning her, period. There is no legal adult in here to give you guys permission!” Aria said losing her cool. She hadn’t even realized what she’d just blurted out. It was so unnatural for her to do that, but once again it was unnatural for her other half and their back bone to be falling apart to the seams, at least in public. Spencer just stared at Aria warmed by her boldness sadly it didn’t stop her tears but it did calm her stress down.   
“Team Sparia. ”   
“There team Sparia duh!”   
“C’mon were team Sparia!”   
“Sparia”   
“Your not the only one who could use a little team Sparia?”   
All the former words were racing through her mind as she looked between hers best friend and soulmate and then finally burying her face into the young mans chest as Toby squeezed her and traced circles on her back, Aria went to the other side of the bed to also hold onto her pained friend.  
Spencer has never truly believed in all the cheesy friendship quotes she had read or seen until now. 

If you live to be one hundred, I want to live to be one hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

But there was also Toby who has loved her unconditionally from the day they first set eyes on each other. 

Fall in love with someone who wants to know your favourite colour and just how you like your coffee. Fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it. Fall in love with someone who puts their head to your chest just to hear your heart beat. Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they can. Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were ever afraid to fall in love in the first place. Fall in love with someone who would never ever want to hurt you. Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and thinks you and only you are perfect just the way you are. Fall in love with someone who wants you to be the first thing they see in the morning and the last thing before they close their eyes at night. 

God did she ever love Toby. What has she ever done to deserve her best friends. She kept on playing all of her best memories with the girls and/or Toby as she drifted off to sleep still in Tobys arms with Aria holding her hand. 

Sometime later she woke up with a pounding migraine. Her face was still red, and had dried tears on her face giving her anything but a pleasant appearance. She was still huddled on to Toby but not holding onto anyone or anything. Toby and Aria still laid on both sides of her softly snoring. She looked around the room for a clock or an alarm but was only able to find Tobys cellphone in his pocket. Trying not to disturb his sleep she carefully pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and checked the time.   
2:37am  
She’d been sleeping for nearly 10 hours. She never slept more than 5 and a half, if she’s lucky 6. 

As the minutes ticked by her migraine just got worse and worse eventually getting so bad light tears started falling out of her eyes just ever so softly in fear of waking or disturbing anyone else and gaining more attention to herself than needed. Eventually she started becoming impatient and uncomfortable, mentally uncomfortable and slightly physically uncomfortable. It’s not necessarily that her position wedged between her two biggest supporters was bugging her she was just getting in more pain and so mentally unstable she couldn’t handle being in the bed anymore. She sat up, slightly awakening Toby. As she sat up and tried to move her arms around for comfort she started crying, she wasn’t sure why though, out of discomfort, that’s what she figured but she couldn’t control it. She moved further down the bed, now not even touching Toby or Aria who’s quickly fallen back to sleep not even comprehending Spencer was sitting up crying. Now on the cusp of a mental breakdown. She moved her arms side to side trying not to hit anyone, just causing more sudden discomfort. She was now crying harder and getting frustrated, a panic attack, just like in math, but this time she won’t run off, and draw unnecessary attention. At least that’s what she told her self, they’d taken the Iv out some time while she was sleeping, so she could now get out of bed. As she slid off the hard bed unsteadily, she looked towards the window, obviously gaining more fear from the previous afternoon. Which just made her more uncomfortable, now hardly crying almost sobbing she sat on the cold hard ground attempting to calm herself down. Toby heard her noises and quickly woke up wondering why he was now sleeping beside Aria instead of Spencer, a somewhat quiet sob came from the ground.   
“Spence!” Toby said worried running to the shaking thin girl.   
“Don’t touch me!” She replied moving away from him uncomfortably, sobbing now. Aria quickly woke up, looking around the room until she spotted Toby on his knees and Spencer desperately... actually she couldn’t tell what she was trying to do, she was obviously having a panic attack as she moved around the floor with her hands moving from rubbing her eyes to holding her legs to moving around trying to get comfortable. It was almost a repeat of school but this time she was sitting on the floor for some reason. How’d she even get down their without her noticing, how’d she even remove herself from their three person huddle, which Spencer thought was out of empathy but was truly out of protection.   
“Spencer, let us help you!” Aria said, trying not to sound like she was talking to literally anyone else but a Hastings. Peter and Veronica never talked to Spencer like the others girls and Tobys mothers had. Spencer saw the way Pam supported Emily, Ella took her time to put her daughter first, Hanna and Ashley’s basically best friend relationship, the way Caleb had connected with his mother after years of betrayal, Toby talked so wonderfully about his mother, and even Alison who’s mother really did care about her health and well-being. But Veronica never truly showed that compassion, not that she could, she was never home, her whole childhood was surrounded by nannies, and when she did get to see her parents it was either alone being scolded, as a whole family where she’d still get scolded to be more like Mellisa or at an event/party that she was forced to go to, where all of her parents work partners and closest friends had attended, they weren’t even home when she was admitted to Radley, or now, they were no where to be seen, in fact she’d already seen Ashley and Ella who came to pick the girls up and dropped in to say hi. “Spencer please listen to me,” The night nurse said who’d come in after she heard all the noise she was making, “I need you to stand up and sit down on the bed so I can help you.” She tried saying reassuringly, and soothingly just like she hated. Toby and Aria waited for Spencer’s mood to change to pissed but it didn’t, which now terrified them. Toby moved closer ready to pull her up on the bed knowing very well they were just going to sedate her somehow. Which is exactly what he ended up doing after she shouted not to touch her. He leaned in closer and whispered into her ear, “Baby please.” She still hadn’t cooperated though, so he now lifted her up onto the bed, Aria ready to hold her. “Believe me they’re going to make it all go away.” Toby whispered quiet enough that only Spencer could hear and Aria who could add on, “I promise!” just as quietly as Toby had. Within seconds she was out cold and back into Tobys arms. It hurt Toby to see his favourite person living, feel violated or hurt. He tried his hardest to fight back his tears, but as soon as the nurses and doctor were gone he let himself drop a couple of tears, since it was only his best friend, and her best friend in the room. Aria noticed Toby was now sad and frustrated, “Hey Toby?”   
“Ya?” He answered trying not to look up.   
“You know this will all be gone soon, and I know it hurts you to see her hurting and like this, and I can guarantee you that I’m sure as hell petrified as well, but we just need to be here for her now just like she’s been there for us many times before ok?”   
“Ya” Toby managed to whimper.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this first chapter I think this will end up being a pretty long story so stay tuned :)


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